When things get too hectic or busy I repeat a litany that starts with when... 

- when I’m caught up things will get easier

- when they’re older it will be more manageable

- when the school year ends i’ll be driving less

the truth is that i am almost never caught up on my tasks as they seem to have a self regerative power. Things do get easier and yet more complicated as children grow. Sure no one is asking to use the bathroom in the middle of the grocery store when you have a full cart and toddlers in towbut middle school has it’s own set of challenges. 

Every stage of my life I’ve wished it away thinking it would be better later. Yet everyday I wished away was one less I’ve could’ve enjoyed. With my father in law’s death I realized we only get one chance at life. This has made me more attentive to this litany. The bin of clothes that need to be folded, the grocery store are all tedious but they’re also part of my life.

I wish I could find a way to quiet the voice. When is now.